It's a must for me when I wake up and when I get back from work.
It's always been like that, but more so since I suffered neurological damage last October.
In the morning, it takes me much longer to get my body and my brain synchronized and ready to start the day.
I'd say it takes me about an hour and a half to get to the point most of you are 15 minutes after you wake up.
I get to work before 7 AM, and no one is in the office until 9 AM. When people arrive, once again, I need to get my brain adjusted to this change.
When I get back from work, I am exhausted.
It is much harder for me to work. I am much more sensitive to loud noises and bright lights. Being interrupted when my brain is focused, throws me off balance.
Well, working in a startup company is all about interruptions, bright lights, and loud noises.
It tough for me.
I always take a quick shower and a short nap when I return home. It helps me to have the energy for the rest of the evening.
Until ten days ago, I did not share all of this with my best friends. Of course, they know what happened to me, but as far as they can tell, I am back to how I was before.
Why did I not share it with them until ten days ago?
I did not want them to feel sorry for me.
They can't help me, anyway. This is my burden to carry. I prefer that they see me active, happy, and smiling like they have known me for years.
I had to tell them ten days ago.
I have a straight couple among my friends.
They are sweet, and she is terrific. They are musicians. She is a singer, and he is a talented composer and piano/keyboard player. He has a band.
They have a new show: "Back to the 80's". His band is playing, and she sings.
The opening was Wednesday 10 days ago, at 10 PM.
I knew I would not be able to make it.
Going out in the middle of the week when I have to work tomorrow?
Impossible in my condition.
I did not want to explain it to them over the phone. I felt in her voice that she was deeply hurt that I am not coming.
I have invited over my best friends for an evening of pancakes and ice cream. I bought the vegan ice cream, but I made the pancakes.
There were 10 of us.
When I brought over the pancakes to the hungry crowd, I told them:
"I love you guys, that's why I told you what happened to me.
But I don't share with you how hard it is to deal with it, every day. I don't want you to feel sorry for me.
Every day is a struggle; at the end of the day, I am exhausted.
That's why I did not go to the show; I can't do these things any longer.
It would have been hard even during the weekend, but I could rest before the show so I could enjoy it and recover the day after."
The singer stood up came over me and hugged me.
"You know that I have fibromyalgia, I know precisely what you mean when you say it takes you a long time to start your day and to work
I love you, sweetie."
I hugged her back and said:
"I love you too, now where is the joint?"
It was a wonderful evening. At a certain point, my sister and her husband also joined.
Close friends, family, friendship, love
That's what keeps me going
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