Yesterday two people discussed with me the notion that I should use my sperm for other purposes than eating or as anal lube.
Both of them were talking about having kids.
However, there was nothing in common between them. The second one wanted to fuck me hard, and the first one didn't and also couldn't.
The first one was my aunt, whom I love dearly. The second one who wanted to fuck me "deep and hard" was an imbecile. He was not an idiot because he wished to fuck me roughly. He was an idiot because, most likely, as a child, he fell on his head.
When my aunt was talking with me about having kids, I was trying this new thong outfit from Andrew Christian. It arrived recently. That's why I never use FaceTime; I am usually naked at home or wearing something naughty.
What do you think of it? Send me a message or leave a comment. 😛
Speaking of "kids," I am aware that I did not complete the story of having sex with the 18 years old Yuri last week.
That's the first part:
Allow me to share with you what does it take to write a blog post of such magnitude.
The first part is nearly 13,000 characters long.
From start to publishing, it takes me about six hours to write such a long blog post. That is why I did not compose the second part yet. I need to find the right time slot for that. I was hoping to do it the last weekend, but Felix came back after ten days in Germany, and we spent most of the weekend together.
As much as I love my blog and my followers, I love Felix and his thick cock even more. 💄
But I will get to it because It's a good story that I want to remember. Plus, I promised you that I would, and it has such a lovely video of me screaming and shooting cum all over myself and then eating it with great delight.
As for the imbecile, he contacted me yesterday while I was working out naked.
I always work out naked, and yesterday I was extra horny. It has been two days since I looked into Felix's blue eyes while he was fucking me. I still did not know that Felix would find the time to come over later and make love to my smooth ass again.
I was so horny that I kept leaking cum the entire workout even without being hard (photo further down). After my workout, I stayed on the workout bench and rode my anal vibrator for 20 minutes. I also made a short video demonstrating it.
So, when this clown contacted me, I was still naked, and my hole was lubed, aroused, and wide-open after using my superb vibrator. My anal vibrator felt tremendous, but my loose hole was begging me to find a real thick cock to penetrate and use it.
Who was this jerk?
He was 56 years old "vegan" from Grindr. I said it many times; I don't care how old a guy is as long as he is fit or athletic.
Sadly, he was not fit nor athletic and, in retrospect, probably lied about being vegan as well.
It has taken him quite some time to show me photos presenting his body. I already knew he was not what I was looking for even before because when a guy is fit, he sends pictures of his body right away.
"Did you read my profile?" I asked him after he has sent me photos of him standing shirtless.
"Sure, you are looking for vegans/vegetarians, and you are a total bottom. I'm vegan and a total top, I'll fuck you deep and hard."
Selective reading, I thought to myself.
"What about the part that states that I am only interested in meeting fit/athletic guys?"
I knew that I should have stopped before sending this question. But it always puzzles me: If a guy reads my profile, why does he bother to contact me and waste our time when his body type is not even close to what I am looking for?
It has happened so many times before.
I mean, what's the point?
When I read a Grindr profile, and the guy says he is looking only for:
hairy guys or,
guys who are not bald or,
guys younger than my age or,
and so on,
I don't contact him and humiliate myself trying to convince him to fuck me even though I am none of the above.
And yet, this is what this guy did, but he tried to humiliate me too in the process.
Here is his lengthy monologue. He wrote each line separately (like in the translation). I also translated his spelling mistakes. The "--" part was not sent to him, I added it for the blog.
Don't say no right away
-- I didn't, although I should have
You should open
-- My love hole was already wide open at that moment
Athletic guys are snobs that think they are above all of us. Yeah right, fuck that
-- I believe that I am athletic and the last thing you can say about me is that I'm a snob
We all have an ass hole
-- But, evidently, not all of us have a brain
Athletic guys also don't like seks
-- I love "seks", perhaps too much, even though I'm athletic
They, don't touch here and I don't like that
-- Awful spelling mistakes, and appalling grammar
Forget about that crap, come and have fun
-- "Fun" is the last thing that I wanted to have with him, I'd rather have another root canal
Listen, I am not gay
-- And I'm Queen Elizabeth
But I know what a faggot needs
-- Clearly, you are not what a "faggot" needs
I know that you will not agree with me because you live in a bubble
The cind of a bubble you can't get out of
-- His spelling mistakes were dreadful,
You like what you see on T.V., athletic sexy guys, but it is a big lie
-- I did not watch T.V. since 2000, nor do I have one
Because you don't have a lot of brains
-- Gee thanks, Einstein
You are naive, you see?
-- Finally something truthful, I am a very trusting guy
Don't feel bad that I say that to you
You live in a bubble
Listen, I am married with three kids
-- So, you fuck guys and cheat on your wife, but I live in a bubble? Cute.
You need to have a life and kids
-- Why is everyone today trying to tell me to have kids? first my aunt and now this idiot
How many more years do you want to get fucked?
-- Hopefully, until one hour before I die and as much as possible before that
I'm not gay, so I know
I have heard that one so many times before. My take on it? If you fuck a guy's ass, then you are not straight, period!
I did not respond to his lengthy monologue. It was comical; I wanted to see how far will this idiot go with his stupidity.
While he was blubbering, I sent screenshots to Brian. Brian and Jay are a gay couple from Tel Aviv. Felix & I visited them this weekend along with Dor. Jay had a simple (yet painful) lung surgery last week, and we all came over to visit.
Brian responded: "The guy is an idiot; this is better than a sitcom."
I also sent it to Dor, my best friend (and occasional sex partner)
"OMG, Theon, how do you always attract such idiots? Abort, Abort, Abort!!"
"You are right, that's it, he's blocked."
"You should be happy that you have me to advise you on what to do.
How are you doing sexy?"
"I absolutely need to get fucked tonight. I was leaking cum while working out. Can you believe that? That's how horny I am. "
Dor has sent me, 👅 followed by: "Yes, I can believe that because I have seen your beautiful cock oozing streams of precum so many times at the beach."
"In any case," I concluded, "I hope that Felix comes over later. I fear that I need tonight more than what my anal vibrators can give my hungry ass, but I don't have the patience to deal with all these idiots on Grindr."
"He'd be an idiot just like them if he does not come over to cream your hot ass."
They say that hanging out with stupid people makes you stupid. It's probably right. Otherwise, I can't explain what kind of stupidity made me send the following reply to Dor, in response to his comment about my "hot ass":
"Speaking of my hot ass, You know, after our lunch with Brian and Jay, Felix said that you are in love with me."
There was a long pause that I used to curse my foolishness.
"Tell Felix to relax. I love you very much, but I'm not in love with you. We're best friends."
"I know. I love you too. It's just that Felix needs to get to know you more. He knows we hang up naked at the beach a lot. I guess that makes him nervous."
When we said goodbye on Saturday, Felix told Dor: "Make sure Theon is safe and does not do stupid things at the nude beach."
Dor laughed and said: "I'm the one that Theon should be looking after. I am much more reckless than him."
That's quite true.
Back to my idiotic sentence to Dor:
I'd say that this was the stupidest thing that I could have told Dor. Most likely, I got rid of any chance of collecting his thick seed in my ass again. Probably, for a long time.
I can only hope that in a few months, when we are both naked, stoned, and our cocks are hard and leaking precum at the beach, he will forget about it and fuck me passionately while I am in doggie as he did about a month ago. Alternatively, I would love to have him fuck my face until I drink his vegan cum as he did during our desert weekend in November.
I wrote about our weekend here:
As for stupid people, like the Coronavirus, we all need to learn to live with them and try not to get hurt too much.
Speaking of the Coronavirus, when Felix came over last night, he brought with him not only his massive hairy balls that were full of delicious vegan cream but also lots of dry vegan food.
"What's that?" I asked him.
"I am nervous about this epidemic. I think you should have more food at home. Just in case they lock us down, like in China."
That was SOOOO sweet of him to bring me so much food. Felix is originally from Montana, and I guess his American background influences his dooms-day behavior.
I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and kissed him for a long time.
"You know, I think you are too nervous, and I know just the right thing to make you feel better."
We left the dry foods and the Coronavirus fear in my beautiful kitchen and went upstairs to my huge rooftop jacuzzi, where Felix, who is not an idiot, made love to my very horny ass with his massive cock.
At first, Felix fucked me doggie style.
I enjoy getting fucked like that because I love the top to pull his hard cock out, spank my sensitive, smooth hole with it, and make me beg to get fucked again. Then to continue spanking both my white ass cheeks, making them nicely red and finally fuck me some more and do it over and over.
Sadly, Felix says he loves me too much to spank me.
His spanking is very gentle and, therefore, laughable. I stopped asking him to spank me. Instead, he holds onto my waist or puts his strong hands on my raised ass or shoulders and satisfy my ass with his thick cock. It feels fabulous, but I almost feel like spanking myself, I miss that mild pain and loud sound.
Therefore after a while, I switched to riding his cock.
While riding his cock, I was kissing him at the same time. Then I stopped riding him but kept his cock deep inside of me, and massaged it from within with my robust ass muscles. Each time I lightly squeezed my muscles, Felix moaned loudly and got closer to his orgasm. I love doing this ass trick with each guy that fucks me because it gives him an unbelievable sensation that I can recognize on his face.
"Theon, how do you do that with your ass??? it always feels incredible."
"Just relax and enjoy it."
Felix threw his head back, and I kept stimulating his large cock without either one of us moving. I did it slowly and very gently. I felt how his cock was expanding inside my tunnel of love and widening it. The increased pressure on my prostate made me release a lustful yell and to continue moaning loudly.
If it were the weekend, I would have done it for a very long time, getting both of us closer and closer to paradise without crossing the point of no return. But, sex during the workweek has its time limits.
Therefore, I started to play tenderly with his hairy balls while continuing to massage his enormous cock with my inner ass muscles. I knew that this would drive him crazy.
It sure did.
Felix raised his head, grabbed my firm ass cheeks with force, and fucked me hard and in seconds started yelling, and I felt one load of hot cum after the other splashing and filling my insides.
Felix kept fucking me gently and deeply even after he finished shooting his cum. He knows how much it excites me to continue being fucked after the top has had his orgasm. It is like the top saying: "Your ass feels so amazing that I don't want to leave even after I emptied my balls inside of it."
The sensation of getting fucked while my ass was full of cum was so intense that my entire body was vibrating. Soon after, I started screaming and shot my cum into the water. My orgasm started long before my cock started shooting cum and ended long after the last drops were poured into the water. While I shot my cum, I probably milked the last drops of cum out of Felix's thick cock by squeezing my ass cheeks uncontrollably.
Then I collapsed on Felix, and we hugged and kissed for a long time, breathing heavily. His cock slowly got back to his usual size and slid out of my muscular ass. When it did, I released a last ecstatic moan. I could sense Felix's cum slowly oozing out of my open love hole. It was such a romantic feeling.
Felix's right hand was gently massaging my happy cum-full ass and occasionally finger gliding over my satisfied, open love hole. Now that my hole was relaxed and gratified, the very light touch of his fingers felt like daydreaming.
Felix knew my hole needs resting and did not attempt to finger it. He caressed it ever so gently. He very tenderly massaged the area that some tops call the "hole lips." That is the dark triangle area and the surrounding tissue around my hole that you see in this photo:
That was Felix's way of saying: "Thank you so much for letting me use your ass is such an enjoyable way."
"That was kind of stupid, right? Buying all that food," Felix whispered. My head was resting on his smooth chest.
"You're a sweet idiot, but I love you so much."
Not all idiots are created equal.
Some idiots you need to leave, others you can't stop loving.
Click here to see my thick cock...