"Spread your legs. That way I can fuck you exactly like you said that you wanted me to"
A week ago, I accepted a writing challenge.
I was going to write 30 topics about myself and my life. Half of these topics should be familiar to you if you have been following my blog. The other half are things I never discussed in my blog before.
More about that here:
Here is the first topic that I never discussed before: Not to my parents, not to my friends, not to anyone.
When I was 17, an older guy raped me.
The first thing that comes to your mind when you think about rape is someone walking at night alone, and then the raper attacks him, drags him while he is screaming, pushes him down and forcefully fucks him.
This image, while true sometimes, is quite rare actually.
Most times, rape happens either by a family member or by someone who blackmails the victim.
My case was the latter.
I have just turned 17, and I was staying with at my uncle's in the city of Haifa. I was still in the closet to them but not to my immediate family. My parents have accepted me from an early age; however, I did not come out to my extended family.
My parents asked me to wait, and I respected their wishes.
I have been very sexually active from an early age. I was fucked for the first time When I was 16. I was also mostly a bottom. Unlike today where I am exclusively a bottom, back then, I was still exploring my boundaries.
However, I already knew how to relatively quickly take a big cock and please a guy with my ass. My enjoyment from getting fucked was by far more intense than me fucking.
In addition to that, like today, I was a strong-minded person. Yes, I was still a child in many aspects, but the only thing different from Theon of late 2019, was knowledge and experience.
Sadly, that weekend, I was going to experience something new and very unpleasant.
At that time, there was no Internet, no Grindr, or anything similar. There were gay bars, but I never went to one yet. I was too young for that, and I did not drink. Today, everything is different. There are organizations for gay youth, meeting places, and so on.
Nothing of the sort was back then.
Like today, actually much more than today, I was a very sexual person.
How did I get cock?
I was fooling around with guys from high school and in social events, like parties. In parties, I sometimes had sex with older guys. The oldest person that I was with was perhaps 23. I was only 17 and anyone above 20 had seemed so mature to me.
It was a lovely warm Saturday morning, and I had nothing to do.
As I was saying, I was at my uncle's place in Haifa. I started reading the local paper, and in the classified section, I noticed a particular part. It was for men who were seeking sex or dates with other men.
As I was reading this section, I got rock hard from reading the erotic details. Most men published a PO Box so people can send them a letter. Some men, though, posted their phone number.
One ad drew my imagination:
"Very experienced top, hairy, big cock, looking for date or sex. I can host, prefer younger guys."
I don't remember the exact text, but it was something similar to that.
There was also a phone number.
My heart was racing; I was so horny. Even when I was 17, a hairy guy with a big cock was my favorite. I went to the toilet and wanked to relax. A few quick strokes and I released a massive load in the sink.
Today, it would have made me relax and forget about the whole thing. But back then, I could shoot my load seven times a day. And most days, I did that. After one hour, I was horny again, and I kept going back to reading this ad.
My uncle and my aunt went out for something; I don't remember what for, and I was left alone.
I called the number.
I talked with the guy for nearly 40 minutes.
He asked me many details. He wanted to know how I look like, my age, am I in the closet, where do I live, intimate details about my sex life, about my body. He asked me to describe my ass and my love hole in detail to him.
I was flattered when he told me that my ass is so sexy because it was smooth all over.
"What are you doing now?"
I told him how I was fingering myself.
"Taste your finger for me and tell me how it feels."
I did it.
His voice was so sexy over the phone. He described how he would fuck my ass and make me enjoy his big cock.
I was trembling from desire when he said that. I never talked over the phone with a guy in this way. It was so thrilling for me.
"I will fuck you and lick your smooth hole," he told me; "after that, you will lick mine as well."
I did not even bother to ask for his age or for his looks. I was that naive.
On top of that, I was rock hard (read: brain dead) the entire conversation and playing with my cock. Cum was oozing out of my cock, and I also fingered myself non stop. I heard him moaning, and I also moaned when I played with my hole.
It was a hot chat, but I wasn't planning on meeting him.
Haifa was not my hometown, and besides, what was I going to tell my uncle? I got my kick from this chat. I was going to shoot another big load, thinking of him fucking me and perhaps another one later.
"I have to go, sorry."
and I hang up.
Five minutes later, the phone rang.
I ignored it.
Then it ranged again.
"Who could it be”, I thought to myself
My uncle and aunt did not return yet.
The phone kept ringing again and again. When it rang for the fifth time or so, I picked it up. It must be important if someone is calling.
It was him.
I was in shock, and now I was trembling from fear and not from desire.
"How..., how did you know this number?" I could barely say a word.
"I dialed *42; it calls the last person back."
"What do you want?"
"I want your ass; you said you are going to give it to me, remember?"
"I changed my mind."
"You can't, not after we talked, and you promised that you would let me fuck you."
I was shaking.
I am shivering now when I remember this conversation. It was perhaps the scariest moment of my life.
"I don't want to, I only promised you that I would come over I… I…. I did not promise you that you will fuck me."
"Theon, it matters not. Here is my address, you can take bus #5 and ask him to drop you there. If you don't show up in two hours, I am going to call again and have a fascinating talk with your uncle. I am sure your aunt is going to be delighted to know you allow guys to fuck you.
You better think about your options."
Then he hung up.
I was terrified; I didn't know what to do.
While I was open to my parents, I never discussed with them my sex life. To them, I was their sweet boy. The thought of me telling them that I practice anal sex since I was 16 and that I am a bottom was something that I could not imagine doing.
In retrospect, I should have been also terrified that he will kill me, or harm me physically. A man who can blackmail a teenager is capable of anything.
I should have called the police right away.
But that meant public humiliation to my entire extended family and my parents.
I thought to myself:
"I'll go there like he wants me to, but I will make him forget about the idea of fucking me.
When he sees me, he will probably not be attracted to me anyway.
I promised him that I would come over, and he is right. I should keep my promise. Once I do that, my promise will be fulfilled, and he will have nothing more that he can ask from me."
I am reliving my thoughts now. I was so damn naive. I was naive about life, men, sex, and how cruel people can be.
What happened when I got to his disgusting place that was like a hole in the wall?
Eventually he told me:
"Spread your legs. This way, I can fuck you exactly like you said that you wanted me to."
But there was more before that humiliating act, during and after.
I will detail in part 2 how he raped me, and what he forced me to do. I will not go into every detail. The mind has cured itself. I only remember flashes from that terrible afternoon.
This photo, from two months ago, represent my mood right now. However, I am glad I finally wrote about that afternoon.
Here's the third part (there was no second...):