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What were/are my fears about getting older?

As a young gay man in his 20s, I had some concerns about getting older.

Me as a young bottom at the age of 21.

I was never concerned about getting sick or dying prematurely.


What were my concerns?

  • I was a bit afraid that I'd be lonely.

  • I was confident that no one would want to fuck me after a certain age.

  • I thought that I'd look pathetic going out to clubs as an older gay man.

  • I was terrified that I'd lose my ability to get hard.

I was never worried about how younger guys will treat me when I get older. It was never my concern because I'm such a nice guy. I never treated anyone differently, just because they were older than me.


I do find most older guys unattractive. That's not because of their age, lack of hair, white pubic hair, or wrinkles.


It's because I'm attracted to toned/athletic guys like myself, and most older guys are not.

If a guy has an athletic build, I don't care how old he is.


This beach season, I was fucked a few times by two guys in their 70s. Both of them had fantastic, thick breeding tools and beautiful bodies.


I prefer to serve a 70 something old cock attached to a toned body than a 20 something old cock that belongs to a guy whose build is not athletic.


I also find most older guys more interesting compared to younger men.


After all, they lived longer than me, and most of them have stories from the time before I was born. One of the older guys I'd mentioned before only fucked me after sunset.


We talked for nearly three hours before I offered him my love hole to explore and enjoy.

I also enjoy talking online with older guys because most of them are pleasant and charming. Here's a message I got recently from an older gentleman:

"It would be extremely arrogant of me to imagine, just because I am old, that I know all there is to know about being gay and naked.
We have each trodden our chosen path once we respected the fact that we were gay, but perhaps our vision is limited to our personal experiences.
Fortunately, I'm a psychotherapist, so I have been privileged to be a party to other gay folk's experiences.
Witnessing your totally exquisite body and the unbelievably amazing videos has been a delight - as has been reading your words.
I send you my very warmest wishes, peace, and love"

Sadly, a lot of young guys aren't as nice as him.


Since I'm in my 40s, in the gay community, I am considered old. I don't give a damn about it because I'm not concerned about what others think about me.


I have my real age shown on Grindr along with my photos. On Grindr, I can't upload nude photos. But all my photos show my face and my body.


This photo, for example, is my main profile photo.

Occasionally, younger guys on Grindr send me the most unpleasant messages.


Here are some examples of messages that different guys sent me:

  • "Oh, you are so old."

  • "I see you on Grinder all the time. For someone of your age, I think it's quite pathetic."

  • "You are fucked up, especially at your age. Wake up, grandma!"

How do I respond to such insults?


Usually, I don't.


However, I did respond to the last message after I received it a few days ago:

"I realize that you're trying to offend me because of my age and other reasons.
First of all, don't be an idiot. A guy Like me, who's not ashamed to show his real age, is proud of it.
Other than that, I'm sorry to disappoint you.
I really don't give a damn about anything you have to say about me. You are absurd if you believe that your words can hurt me.
You've only proven that your language is filthy, and your soul as well.
Have a pleasant evening!"

I feel sorry for these young guys because one day they will be old too. Their reaction to me is based on fear—fear of what will happen to them when they get older.


What about my fears of getting older?


The first was about being lonely.


I need to separate this fear into two periods. The first one before my neurological injury (two years ago) and the second after.


You can read more about my injury here:

Why I've stopped getting fucked and started drinking whisky - Part I


During my life, I was never lonely.


I always had lovers, boyfriends, fuck buddies, friends, female friends, work friends, beach friends, etc. Because of that, I never feared too much of what will happen to me as I get older.


I felt quite confident that I'll always have someone special in my life.


The only time I was afraid of staying lonely for the rest of my life was after my neurological injury. During the first weeks after it had happened, I cried a lot.


One of the reasons for my tears was out of fear of staying lonely.

My photo shortly after my injury

Was it because I became disabled?


No.


As a disabled person, I knew that it might be more challenging for me to find a life partner. But that wasn't my main concern.


My main concern was what the neurologist told me the day after I was rushed to the E.R. He told me, in a dry, monotone voice, that in the next five years (two have passed since), I have a 25% chance that I will have a reoccurrence.


And if it happens, it will be the left side of my brain that will suffer an injury.


Such an event would leave me up to 90% disabled and end my life as I know it. Even if it doesn't happen in the next three remaining years, the risk is still there for the rest of my life.


I cried because I thought that no one would want to date someone who's at risk of becoming dependent and disabled at such a relatively young age.


Luckily God or the universe sent me my angel, Felix.

Felis is kind, caring, and loves me more than words can describe. He's the love of my life and also a terrific lover.


I no longer fear of staying lonely.


I only fear sometimes of losing Felix, God forbid.


My second fear regarding getting older was about finding a sex partner after a certain age.


That fear has proven (thus far) to be baseless.


I always have more offers from guys wishing to breed me than my horny hole can handle. And I mean, guys that I'm also interested in getting fucked by them.


The youngest is 19 years old.


He started fucking me three years ago, and occasionally he still loads my ass with his sweet cum when he returns home on military leave.


Another guy that lives close to me is Dean. He's also still in the army.


Here's a part of our conversation from a few months ago

I'm more than twice their age, but they are interested in spoiling my ass.


There's no shortage of guys who appreciate a muscular ass with a lot of experience like mine.

What will happen when I'm in my 60s or 70s?


It mostly depends on how well I keep my body in shape. Of course, some men are attracted to older men no matter what. Some guys are also more attracted to stockier guys.


I just had a chat with a friend of mine.


He's in his 30s and has a gorgeous body (although his cock isn't thick).


One of his fuck buddies is 65-year-old and not in shape. He shared with me a video showing how he fucks the older guy while he was moaning and begging my friend to breed him.


"I don't care that he's not in shape," my friend told me, "he's got a terrific smooth ass and a thick beautiful cock. That's the only thing that matters to me."


I'm sure that when I'm 65, my ass will still be smooth and my cock thick.

My thick tool

In any case, If I'm not as toned as I am right now, I won't be so choosy. I can't ask a guy who's about to fuck me to be toned if I'm not.


But there are other reasons I'm not worried about my love hole getting attention at an older age.


As I'd aged, I noticed that my needs to get fucked aren't as pressing as when I was a teenager or in my 20s. From reading my blog, you might get the impression that I get fucked a lot, but that's nothing compared to when I was younger.


Back then, I wanted to get fucked all the time.


At least once a day, preferably twice or more.

Even at the age of 29, I noticed that I didn't need to get fucked so much.

Thank goodness that my hole isn't as demanding as it used to be while I was getting my engineering degree.


I wouldn't like to spend every evening trying to find a guy to fuck me or to demand it from Felix every night. There are so many other things that I enjoy doing besides sex and cum shots.


For example, hiking or taking my friends on guided tours in Israel.

Being horny all the time sounds hot, but it's also a nuisance.


I'm sure that as I get older, my hole will become even less demanding, and probably as an older gay man, getting fucked once a week or twice a month will be more than enough for me.


Even at my age, sometimes when I'm horny, I think of all the trouble of getting a new guy to come over and lick my smooth hole. I give it a second thought and decide instead to spend a pleasant evening by myself.


I later empty my balls alone (when Felix is staying at his place).

The first cum shot is leaking on my pubic hair

My third fear about getting older was regarding parties and dance clubs.


When I was younger, I used to go out a few times every week.


Every weekend I went out dancing, drinking, fucking at the club, and returning home early morning. I used to go out at least once during the middle of the week as well.


Back then, I asked myself many times: What will I do when I get older and feel that I'm no longer accepted socially at dance clubs and parties?


I have several older friends, and they say they feel no problem going out dancing. So perhaps my fear as a young man was baseless.


However, as for me, it's no longer relevant.


As I got older, I lost interest in dancing, drinking, and clubbing.


Even though I was mostly drunk while dancing, I vividly remember the experience. I know I enjoyed it a lot, but I can't see myself enjoying it ever again. I also remember coming back home, passing out until noon, and struggling to recover for the rest of the day.


I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it back then.


I remember very well how I enjoyed giving a blow job to guys at the toilets and getting fucked (or even getting fucked on the dance floor). I also didn't mind waking up so late the day after. It was all part of being young and having fun.


I guess my idea of what "having fun" is all about changed as I got older. The change started happening long before my injury but was certainly completed after it.


My last fear about getting older was regarding my cock.


You've seen plenty of photos of my hard cock.

I also shared quite a few videos demonstrating how I shoot loads of hot cum from it.

So why was I so concerned about losing my erection?


I'll share my fears about losing my erection in the second part of this blog post.

18.10.2020