What have been the best and worst fucks of your life?
Looking back at my life and trying to come up with an answer to this question is going to be quite tricky. I've had so many incredible lovers but also countless disastrous encounters with guys who have failed to satisfy my ass or even worse.
However, it's easier to come up with an answer if I narrow down the time frame:
What have been my best and worst fucks of beach season 2020?
The season is far from over, but the clear winner, so far, is the unbelievable lovemaking I've had this week with a guy named Roy.
He fucked me in the pools for nearly 45 minutes while kissing me non-stop. It was so intense that after he'd loaded my ass with his honey and I'd emptied my balls, I felt exhausted.
His hard cock was only slightly bigger (but much thicker) than my flaccid cock in this photo
This post won't talk about how I traveled with Roy to heaven using my ass as our chariot.
I want to focus on the worst fuck of last year's season because, almost one year on, I've just met the guy who won the title:
"Worst top of 2019".
Perhaps even "Worst top of 2009-2019."
On Monday, it was so damn hot. I kept immersing myself in the sea to cool down and then sat on the sand in this posture (but with my right leg down).
I noticed that someone was approaching, but I'd only recently arrived at the beach and wasn't eager to get fucked at the moment so I closed my eyes and waited for him to pass.
"Theon, is that you? It's so nice to see you again. It's been a year!"
I opened my eyes, raised my head, and there he was:
The Yemenite guy with a huge, disappointing cock from last year. This year, however, he brought with him an awful stench of cheap perfume.
It wouldn't have mattered if he'd been using an expensive one!
I can't stand guys who use perfume or deodorant at the beach. The scent of the ocean is what I want to smell on a guy with whom I make love.
Last year, he wasn't using perfume probably because it wasn't scorching like today. Still, I couldn't bear that awful smell, which was a shame because he was a nice guy.
He was a nice guy, but a terrible lover.
"You know, it's so hot. Do you want to join me in the pools?"
In seconds, he stripped naked and proudly demonstrated his terrific, 8-inch dark breeding tool and his beautiful, big hairy balls.
It wasn't 8-inches long yet, but it was thick and beautiful, even in its flaccid state. I decided to give him and his seed-shooter another chance even though he'd failed my ass twice last year.
Soaking in the pools had cleared most of the stench, and we started talking.
"So, what's new with you, Theon? Your hole looks amazing, just like last year. You always look so fuckable."
I laughed and said: "That's because I am!"
I suddenly remembered that before his lousy sexual performance last year, we'd had a long, friendly chat.
I also noticed that he'd changed.
Last year, he was shy, and it took him a while to get naked. This year, he took off his clothes with ease and wasn't concerned that other people might see him.
“I’d forgotten how big and thick your cock is”, I told him.
It was a lie.
I never forget a good looking cock. A huge, black cock to me isn't just a good cock; it's a dream cock. The sight of his wet, thick cock resting on his hairy, flat stomach was breathtaking.
Then I turned on my stomach and spread my legs.
It was a clear invitation for him to start using my ass:
Unlike last year, he didn't waste time.
He started caressing my smooth ass right away. When he started playing with my love hole, I moaned loudly and turned my head to look at his cock.
My hole hadn't changed since last September and nor had his magnificent cock. It was as hard and as big as last year. I wanted to ride it straight away.
He came behind me and gently rubbed or pressed his love tool against my horny crack.
My heart was racing.
Was I going to experience closure to last year's horrible encounter with his cock?
Besides the physical excitement of feeling his gorgeous cock fucking me, it would have also made a terrific story for the blog. Of course, I wasn't thinking of my blog while his hammer was pressed against my horny ass.
All I wanted was for him to fuck me, slowly, then fast, and finally, for both of us to scream while he was busy filling my ass with his cream.
I already knew from last year that his hairy balls were loaded with rivers of cum.
Sadly, reality hit me in the face again.
...or to be more precise, just like last year, in the back of my head, my lower back and my ass.
Less than two minutes after he'd started rubbing his huge cock on my ass, I got splashes of burning-hot cum all over my backside. This was a slight improvement on last year when it had taken him less than a minute to drown me in his cum.
Once again, he failed my ass miserably.
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate cum all over my body...
...but not so quickly and certainly only after giving my ass a chance to enjoy as well.
"Theon, that was so hot. Just like last year! You are such an amazing lover."
"And you are not!!!" I thought to myself. But there was no point in educating him.
I'm not a sex therapist.
All I knew was that this had been, without a doubt, the last time that I'd be lending him my body for him to use as a carpet to shoot cum on it.
I published the story of our "lovemaking" 11 months ago under the title: "8 Disappointing Inches."
I can't believe I'd wasted over two hours on this guy last year. At least this year, it'd taken less before my body was covered with his seed.
Here's the story of our previous encounter:
I was lying naked on my stomach at the beach.
Very close to my ass was a dark, 8-inch, stunning cock connected to a handsome, lean sweet Yemenite guy.
On the back of my head, lower back, and ass were massive amounts of cum. The cum was leaking into my crack, wetting my smooth hole, and creaming my balls.
This was the second time that this handsome guy had shot his load all over me. The first time was on my face and my upper body.
And yet this was the worst lovemaking of the season, perhaps even of the decade.
My life isn't a porn movie, though it may seem so to some of my followers. However, meeting this Yementive yesterday could have been the stuff of a fantastic porn movie.
Here is my suggested script:
A very experienced bottom with a muscular smooth ass (me) next to a handsome virgin top with a massive 8-inch cock (him).
Both of them naked and horny at a remote, deserted, beautiful beach.
The two would talk, and finally, at sunset, the bottom would show the virgin top how amazing it is to fuck a guy. The top would make love to the bottom at least twice, and perhaps they would even end up dating each other.